Connecting to our soul, connecting to others
Moving out of logic focus and into the infinite with accountability and not bypassing our roles in oppressive systems
I have always been a very logic-based person. My astrological chart is heavy in Air placements (nine total) and I was raised in a family that encouraged learning, logic, and intellectual pursuits. As such, I ended up with a bachelors degree in physics (after a long winding road starting at the performing arts, moving through the humanities, and then into the “hard/real” sciences), and held the attitude for a very long time that “magic” is only something that we haven’t been able to explain away by science yet (heavy emphasis on yet).
In my work as a trauma therapist, I have always explained to my clients the physiological (scientific) reasons why the somatic exercises I teach and practice with them actually work. I have said more times than I can count that “I’m not a ‘woo’ person.” I have not shunned spirituality, and also I hadn’t embraced it in the more tangible ways that social media tells us we “should”.
Even now, as I delve deeper into spiritual practices, I have a bit of a standoffish-ness about actually calling it spiritual. Language is a fundamental part of me. As a writer, words matter and have power, and the word spiritual has always felt by-passing, more like escapism and excuses, a way to avoid accountability, responsibility, and agency, more than it has ever felt like connecting or connection to nature or our own humanity, and the humanity of others.
A truth is, there can be a lot of bypassing of self- and other- accountability in spiritual circles. There can be a lot of victim blaming. There can be a lot of ignoring our roles in the harm caused by oppressive systems, as well as ignoring the harm caused by others. There can be a lot of incorrectly and inappropriately using the word karma, a lot of saying “this is how things are meant to be for your own evolution”, explaining away traumatic experiences as “soul lessons”. “Love and light” and “good vibes only” are the mantras of these spaces, never allowing or acknowledging our “shadow self” or the very real complexities and hardships that people live with and under due to circumstances beyond their individual control. (more on this idea of control below). None of these things I want any part in, neither personally nor professionally.
All those words to say, I still don’t consider myself to a “woo” person. A friend asked me a few months ago how “kooky” I am, in regards to witchcraft and similar practices. I laughed at the question not really answering and our conversation went on.
A truth is, in reality and practice, I am a deeply spiritual and “kooky” person. I have been drawn to alternate ways of connection to myself and others since I was a teen. Tarot, astrology, joining (and leaving) covens, being part of group rituals, creating and practicing my own solo rituals, calling upon the elements, nature, gods and goddesses, to guide me through particular situations, embodiment, and mindfulness (to name a few things) have all been an integral part of who and how I am in the world the majority of my life.
The way I approach my work as a trauma therapist is also in many ways spiritual, in the sense that at its core it is about connection :: connection with our core self, with our younger parts, with nature, with the body, with other humans. I believe as humans we are only one part of a vast web of life and existance that is frankly beyond our comprehensions. The more quantum and astro physics “discovers” about the reality of our world and the universe(s) at large, the more we can see the mirrors of the very small and the very vast, the more we can see how everything is actually interconnected and how once we become physcially connected with other, we are forever connected in ways we are still unearthing (hello quatum entanglement!).
The more we learn about the universe, micro- to macro-, the more we see the ways our personal actions matter, not only to those in our inner circles, but the ripple effect they have on the greater collective. I believe this is in part where the whole “positive vibes only” movement came from - only wanting to share and spread good feelings into the world. However we can’t actually get to those “good” feelings if we don’t acknowledge, feel, and process the “bad”, including the grief of all we have lost, the parts of our core humanity that have been stifled, buried, and destroyed by the oppressive systems that are currently in place, the ways we have been both complicit and compliant to these systems. There is much to acknowledge and grieve.
Grief is part of our soul work, just as it is part of our trauma work.